Man Detox: A Novel Page 4

  “I am sure he has already scored those two,” Lauren whispered to Irene. “I mean, it’s like they haven’t grown up at all in more than five years.”

  “Let them live their lives,” Tom said, the tone of his voice indicated he didn’t care how he might make Lauren feel by his comment.

  Something isn’t right, Irene thought and followed the group right behind, ignoring Leo’s chit chat. All she was thinking about was how quickly she would manage to cleave herself of the group and get back to her room. There was a lot to do. Learning about Ethan, thinking about whether to cancel her lunch appointment, contemplating the idea that she might have placed herself in an anti-detox environment.

  More shots exchanged taking advantage of the unlimited drinks offering, dancing to groovy tropical rhythms, it felt like an escape from everything in Irene’s life. The confined space, infused with sweat and vapor of eroticism, had the effect of loosening her joints as she let go of her inhibitions and danced.

  It reminded her of the campus-wide dances in college, which she reluctantly went to not expecting to enjoy, but found herself immersed in the experience and having very good time. She ignored everyone else around her, as she used to do, and let the music course through her body, closing her eyes and wildly swinging her hands.

  When Irene opened her eyes, she discovered she was now part of a conga line. Someone was pushing her from behind. She fell in line and reached out to Lauren in front of her. The line was moving slowly, and she noticed the hand holding her from behind had progressively gone from over her shoulders to her waist.

  As the line slowed, as if in rhythm with the music, the hands wrapped around her belly and pulled her backward, into a firmness that was poking at her unmistakably. She turned around in horror to find Jared smiling at her.

  In a moment of indecision, she wasn’t sure what to do. Breaking the line would be unthinkable, staying on would be encouraging Jared to keep going… He does have a sweet smile, a thought occurred to her. He is everything thing Lauren had said to her before. He was unreserved and bold.

  But, is what she was looking for? Is this what she expected when she thought she would have a vacation from men? As if reading her mind, he pulled her closer to him. She felt his sweat soaked body press against her. The excitement was real. It had been years since she had been in a club. Was it crazy to think she actually enjoyed dancing with him a lot? Another thought crossed her mind.

  Before their contact went too far, the song ended. Why was she disappointed that it did? Irene tried to clear her mind. She needed fresh air. She kissed Lauren on her cheek and left the crowded club full of rowdy tourists. It seemed someone fondled her on the way out. She hoped it was Jared, but turning around proved futile. He was on the dance floor with Emma. All she could see between her and the dance floor was other strangers.

  Irene had made it past exit door when she felt someone hold her hand, “Hold up, where are you going?” It was Tom. Could there be a more confusing situation?

  “Wanted some fresh air,” she said.

  “Isn’t the ocean breeze magnificent?”

  “Yes…”

  “Are you having fun?”

  “Sure, it’s awesome to be here. Thank you for inviting me, I guess…”

  “C’mon, it’s my pleasure you’re here…”

  His pleasure? Irene wondered where this might be leading to. She feared the worst. And he was still holding her hand. This can’t be. She yanked her hand and walked forward hurriedly.

  “I wanna talk to you, Irene.”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know… I feel like I am about to commit the biggest blunder…”

  “Tom, this is not the time to be thinking those thoughts. This is your wedding. You have a fiancé that loves you and waiting for you inside…”

  “Can we talk for a sec? I promise…”

  The walkway had taken them out of sight from the club to a darker and more secluded section. The music was still thumping in the background. Irene had a terrible feeling this was the beginning of a major disaster. Rendered speechless, her heart beating faster and turned around to look at him.

  In that vulnerable state, she remembered how the kiss, her first kiss of adulthood, had left an indelible impression on her. The memories of agony, the ache of love and longing, came flooding back to her. He had cut her off without any explanation. Dated other girls without any concern for her feelings. Irene now realized the emotion, the pain of heartbreak, was still raw. Why isn’t she angry at him? Why doesn’t she take the opportunity to slap him right this second?

  In the frozen time of mere seconds, Tom closed the gap between them and held her tight in both hands. Before she could resist him, he kissed her. The sort of desperate kiss that takes everything out of the body. No time to exhale and decide what to do next. Only the all-consuming passion of a kiss that felt more sensual than the original one. She felt the anger dissipate from her body and turn into guilt. She pushed him away against her will. She couldn’t let him do this. It was so wrong on so many levels.

  “I can’t marry Lauren!” He said.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?!” Irene, who doesn’t give into swearing let one out.

  This was a situation deserving of all the expletives she can think of. As the fierceness of the words slipped past her soft lips reverberating from the kiss, she tried to hold herself together and keep her distance.

  “I know it is wrong. I can’t do it. You must know, Irene. I am sorry for not coming to you before. But it would be a travesty if I go through with this.”

  “Are you fucking crazy?! This is not the moment to doubt. This is not the time to go around kissing other people. We just had a wedding rehearsal for God’s sake!”

  “I know… I was having cold feet before… But seeing you, Irene…”

  “I don’t wanna go on with this crazy talk. I’m not some kind of analyst, Tom. God! This is so wrong on so many levels…”

  “I know it is… It would be more wrong to go on with the wedding knowing my heart isn’t in it. It won’t be fair to Lauren.”

  “You think? You must be freaking kidding me. Why do it now?”

  “Better late than never, remember how you said that to me when…”

  Irene did remember precisely the moment when she told him those words. She had noticed him the first weekend she was on campus. He lived in the same dorm as she did, and she had suffered in silence hoping to catch his attention. Weeks had gone by where she helplessly acted disinterested while trying to signal her infatuation simultaneously.

  They had danced together a couple of times and made her wait and long for him more. It had felt like the most incredible relief when he finally kissed her. It was indeed better late than never. Recalling the tenderness of that distant memory, she was surprised Tom still remembered and thought about it.

  “Tom, do you see what kind of madness this is?”

  “I am not asking you to marry me… I just want you to know I can’t marry Lauren in clear conscience. I know I haven’t done anything to earn your trust… All I ask is… If you could see this from my perspective, if you could feel what I felt when I saw you walking with her… I couldn’t help but be drawn to you, Irene… All I could think of was imagining if it was the two of us… I know you must think I am insane, but it doesn’t sound crazy to me… Please don’t let me ruin my life…”

  “I can’t be a part of this!” Irene started walking away, past the curve into the shrubs leading toward the ocean.

  “Babe, is that you?” Irene heard Lauren’s voice. It was getting closer. “God, I thought I lost you! What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Tom answered. “Thinking, that’s all…”

  “You left me all by myself in there. I don’t want to be alone, babe.”

  Irene sped her steps and began running as the clinging pleading of her best friend was completely swamped by the sounds of crashing waves on the beach. She kept running past a couple seated in a h
ammock and another that seemed to be engaged in an aggressive coital affair. This was the craziest day of her life bar none. She needed to clear her mind quickly before the chaos destroyed everything.

  ∫---∫

  Chapter Six

  Irene arrived at her room, covered in sand and carrying sandals with broken laces. This was a nightmare. The worst possible situation she had no earthly idea how to solve. How did it come to this? How come Lauren didn’t tell her about their problems? She slammed the door behind her and put the chain on.

  She thought when she left the hospital that would be the end of being chased by men. In a matter of less than a day, she has been inundated by the kind of attention she wasn’t prepared for. And now she was on the verge of potentially breaking up a wedding. The day couldn’t have gone any worse.

  The decision to lock herself in the room was short lived. Soon after she washed herself and put on the bathrobe, someone was banging on the door. She strained to look through the peephole. She couldn’t tell in the darkness of the outside.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s me. Open the door…. Please…” It was Lauren, crying uncontrollably.

  Her heart collapsing to the floor and worried for her own safety, Irene wanted to ask more question.

  “What’s up, Lauren?”

  “Open the door! I know what you did! Is he inside?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I saw you running, Irene. How could you do this to me?”

  “Calm down. There is no one inside.”

  “Why don’t you open the door then?”

  Bracing herself for confrontation, Irene opened the door slowly before Lauren barged inside and started looking around.

  “What is going on, Lauren?”

  “He broke up with me, that’s what’s going on!”

  “Are you serious?”

  “He was alright right before you left the club, then he disappeared, and then I find him on the walkway all alone, and then I saw you running away…”

  “That’s crazy talk, Lauren! Sit down. Let’s talk about this. What happened exactly?”

  “He said he didn’t want to go with the wedding?”

  “When did this happen? Weren’t we all having fun in the club? What happened to the talk about going to the pool afterward? I was coming here to grab my swimsuit.”

  Irene tried to keep herself calm and come up with the right thing to say to diffuse the tension. Lauren was inconsolable. Could it be she didn’t actually see them, or Tom didn’t tell her about them? Irene was trying to find the next line of thought to rescue her.

  “He was acting cold, he didn’t want to go back to the club, or the room. When I confronted him, he said he wanted to be left alone. Can you imagine that? We are one day from our wedding, and he doesn’t want to spend time with me. I got mad and told him how he has been trying to avoid me since we got here. It is true. He has been hanging out with his boys. Is that how a wedding and honeymoon supposed to be like? Then, I told him it wasn’t fair he has been asking me about you all the time…”

  “Serious?”

  “Can you blame me? He is acting really strange. So, he blew up and said he didn’t want to go through with the wedding. No explanation. Nothing. He just walked away from me, leaving me all by myself. I have no idea where he went. He is not picking up his phone. I am so scared right now. What if something happens to him? The way he reacted, I thought he might actually be here. You wouldn’t do this to me, would you, Irene?” The wailing continued. “I want to die!”

  Irene realized it wasn’t the best of appearance for her to be in a robe and quickly changed into her day clothes. She might have to scour the area looking for Tom and mend the situation back together. She felt guilty for allowing him to kiss her for as long as he did. The sensation on her lips was still raw, along with the emotion and longing. What was she supposed to do? If he doesn’t love Lauren, is it fair for him to be forced to be with her?

  “Maybe he is with his friends. Have you checked with Jared?” Why did she pick on him selectively? “Leo, David…” Thankfully Lauren was too distraught to notice, Irene thought.

  “I don’t know… I just want to die. I hate my life. Why is this happening to me? This is supposed to be my weekend…”

  “Why don’t you calm down? I am sure it is a complete misunderstanding… Let’s be careful about making rushed decisions.”

  “He doesn’t love me. He said it himself. After all that I have done for him… Do I deserve this kind of treatment? He is trying to make a mockery of my life. He wants to ruin me… Is it wrong for me to say we should be spending time together? Isn’t that what lovers do?”

  Irene had no good response. She knew she needed to call Tom and try to do the unthinkable. But she couldn’t be the one to call. She needed the help of the men. She called Jared’s room. It was woman’s voice that answered.

  “Is this 2917? I was looking for Jared…”

  “Oh, is that you, Irene?” It was Ann’s voice.

  “Yes, I wanted to talk to him,” Irene swallowed her jealousy and added, “Something came up.”

  “Wait,” Ann let out a strained sigh. There was another voice in the background, laughter and giggling. Could it be Emma? The three of them? Jared came to the phone.

  “What’s up, Irene? You disappeared on us.”

  “I’m fine… There is a problem…”

  “Yes, that you disappeared? Everyone is here.”

  “Who’s everyone?”

  “Leo, Ann, Emma, Tom. David went to be with his wife, such party pooper!”

  “Tom is there?”

  “Yes… Where are you?”

  “We need to talk. Can you come to my room?”

  “Your room?” She could hear him lower his voice.

  “I don’t mean it like that. There is a serious problem.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Can’t talk on the phone.”

  It wasn’t until she put down the phone that Irene realized she didn’t say anything about Lauren being in her room. What was Jared going to think about the invitation?

  “See, Tom is there hanging out. You are freaking out for no reason,” Irene said filled with hope the situation will get remedied soon.

  Idly staring at a Mexican telenovela, they waited for Jared to arrive. He knocked on the door gently. Through the peephole, Irene could see an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. This was going to be awkward. She opened, shielding herself with the door. He walked in in flip flops and swim trunks that hung to his muscular legs tightly. So much danger all around.

  Irene could see Jared’s reaction evolve from excitement to surprise and disappointment as he came to realize she wasn’t alone in the room. Lauren was lying on the bed, curled up and still sobbing uncontrollably.

  “Well, come in. We have a situation…”

  Jared sat on the loveseat and listened to Lauren’s recounting of what happened. More shocked by the minute and clueless about how to de-escalate the situation.

  “This is crazy to me. I mean, we are all having fun, right, Irene? Tom didn’t say anything to me…”

  “Were you with him since after the club?”

  “No… I mean, he kind of came and joined us. Weren’t we gonna play pool volleyball?”

  “So, what do we do now?” Irene asked.

  “I say we go on having fun. That’s what we are here for. If the two of them have problems, they need to talk this shit out. I mean, no one can do that for you, Lauren. If you want him, you need to get him. Period.” The tone of his voice wasn’t conciliatory.

  “Did you tell him about us?” Lauren interjected.

  “Why the fuck would I do that? It’s not my fucking business people wanna get married. I’m about having fun. Shit, I came here thinking…”

  Irene knew exactly what that meant. She felt she should be angry with him, but his carelessness was more attractive than she wanted to admit to herself. Such kind of detached bit of fun she didn’t kno
w anything about. No hypocrisy. All about fun and having a good time. It wasn’t consequence free, though, Irene reminded herself.

  “Irene knows. I told her…”

  “Shit, what the fuck does that accomplish? I mean, I don’t mind you sharing how you had a fucking great time and how I had to literally put my hand in your mouth to stop you from screaming… Shit, I think I still have the bite marks on my hand…”

  Irene felt uncomfortable in the middle of this confessional. One part curiosity, another part guilty pleasure, she wondered what it might be like to be with someone like Jared. Pure and unadulterated sex. For no other reason than fucking like there is no tomorrow... Would that be how one would jump off the wagon?

  The irony was, of course, she was never on the wagon, to begin with, and maybe someone like Jared would be the perfect antidote to the puritanism that has been the hallmark of her miserable life, she thought eying him with luscious interest. Certainly more courageous and manly than the weasel Tom who would lead her best friend on to only crush her heart at the last minute, as he did to her freshman year.

  “Okay, you two stop fighting. This is not about the past. It’s about the future… Hello! We have a wedding tomorrow… Can you talk to him?”

  “If he doesn’t say anything to me, what business is it for me to bring it up?” Jared asked.

  Such assuredness and clarity about him, Irene was taken by him more than she let on. Now she remembered how he held her waist tightly and pulled her body into his. There is no thinking involved here. It is all about pure carnal pleasure. And he looked every bit capable of going many rounds. If he made Lauren scream and bite him…

  “I don’t want anything to do with him!” Lauren cried out.

  “Look, Lauren, let’s not say anything now. As I said, I think it’s a misunderstanding. Why don’t we all just go and have fun in the pool…” Irene said.

  “Exactly. This is nonsense, and you know it, Lauren. The guy has freaking gone all out to make this happen. Do you think he would do that if he didn’t want to marry you? This is more than anything I would have done, that’s for sure.”