Man Detox: A Novel Read online

  “Let’s just all calm down. We have all said and done things we regret. Can we just pretend this evening didn’t happen?” Irene said, reminding herself to be cautious.

  The solution came to her in a moment of lucidity looking at Jared’s six pack. She needed to make sure she gave Tom no hope whatsoever. And she had the perfect foil for that purpose. As she was about to say something, Jared interrupted.

  “Is that Forbes?” he asked, pointing at her bag. Irene realized she had left her bag open as she scrambled to pick something to wear.

  “Yes… Picked it on the plane… Someone left it on the seat…” Her voice halted.

  “Ethan Anderson, right? The biggest prick there has ever been.”

  “What? Why?”

  “He fucking killed my buddy’s company.”

  “He seems to be successful…”

  “Yeah right. Stealing other people’s ideas and employees. Fucking hate him!”

  Such rawness about the anger in this manliness, Irene thought. Maybe she had been wrong all along about Ethan. She didn’t want to dwell on the topic for fear of revealing more about her adventure into Cancun.

  “Shall we go? I think it’ll be a lot of fun. Never played pool volleyball before,” Irene said nervously.

  As they got up to leave, Irene’s phone buzzed. It was a text message. She strained to read it in the soft glow of the bedside lamp through the fractured screen.

  Can we reschedule lunch? Sorry for the late notice. Something came up.

  What are the chances this would arrive at the exact moment she was learning more about Ethan’s ways of doing business?

  No problem!

  Irene texted, ready to make a grand milestone out of the night. The cure for her detox and putting the wedding back together was her spending quality time with Jared, she concluded.

  “Eww! What happened to your phone?” Lauren asked as she got up from the bed.

  “It fell on the ground… I need to replace it.”

  Thanks! I’ll make it up to you.

  The phone buzzed in her hand. As she read the message, the feeling of empty promises came over her. She had heard that before, hadn’t she? As have so many of her peers at work, all hoping to be taken care of and made a priority.

  It was always about making it up to them. But the time never arrived. They were left hoping for their turn while the men went on promising the same to other girls until they got what they wanted. She turned off her phone and led the group out of the room determined to enjoy herself in the pool to the maximum.

  ∫---∫

  Chapter Seven

  Freed of the anxiety of tomorrow, teased by the prospect of a totally free and out of character experience, Irene was practically giddy as she followed Lauren to change into pool appropriate clothing. Jared left to gather the rest of the group and kick off the game.

  By the time Irene and Lauren finished putting on their bikinis, it was as if they had been transported back to the college days in California.

  “Can you believe how insensitive and callous he is? Does he have to rub it in my face when I am going through a crisis?” Lauren asked.

  “Yes, sure, he is being unreasonable. Is he always this cocky?”

  “He does that always. Brashness is his thing. No niceties. He gets what he wants. Sometimes I wish Tom were like that… But it drives me crazy too.”

  “So, do you think I should…”

  “Oh, God! Be my guest. If nothing else, it would keep him off me.”

  Irene wondered if part of the problem with Lauren was having an inflated sense of who she is and how much she mattered to other people.

  “I don’t know… He is a little too much. Anyway, I think you should try to apologize to Tom. I am sure he sees someone like Jared, and, you know, he may be questioning the decision to get married. You know what, though? If he didn’t love you, if he didn’t want to get married to you, he wouldn’t have gone with planning the wedding, he wouldn’t have come here with you…”

  “But he has been acting like a jerk since we arrived…”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Of course! Are you kidding? I’ll die if I can’t be with him.”

  “So, fight for him. Be nice to him. Plus, isn’t it common for guys to have cold feet before a wedding? It’s like in their gene, right? Be the bigger person...”

  They arrived at the pool while the rest of the group was seated at the bar. The setup is one like Irene hadn’t seen before. Guests could swim to the edge and enjoy their drinks without stepping out of the water.

  It was a tricky situation to manage for Irene. She knew she needed to ignore Tom at all cost. She also needed to separate Jared from the two other girls clinging to him. To start with, she ordered her Pina Colada and went right next to Jared. She put her arm around his shoulder and whispered to him, “Can I talk to you?”

  Jared responded eagerly and swam away from the bar stool holding her around the waist, “What’s up?”

  “I think we need to have an intervention. I know the history between you and Lauren, but we need to do this for them. She is heartbroken. Can you talk to him? There’s no way we have come this far and not have a wedding, right? They deserve to be married. They care about each other. I think they have jitters, that’s all…”

  “You think I should?”

  “Yes, please do it for me.” Irene kissed him on the cheek to give him additional motivation.

  The message was received, and Jared left her by the bar and swam around the corner to where Tom was sitting with Lauren. Seizing the opportunity to get away, Irene grabbed one of the volleyballs floating nearby and swam to the center of the pool. Jared arrived at the other side of the bar to see Lauren crying and begging Tom for forgiveness.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Please talk to him, Jared.”

  “What’s up, buddy?”

  “Nothing. This is between us.”

  “C’mon now. We are all here to have fun and celebrate the wedding. It’s none of my business, but you guys made it this far through thick and thin. As we speak, you are taking up time away from me. Do you think Irene digs me? She is kinda nice to me.”

  Tom had seen how Irene ignored him when they arrived in the pool and put her arms all over Jared. He was already inclined to be mad at her when he heard tangentially that she had called Jared’s and asked him to go to her room.

  Not knowing that Lauren had been there the whole time, it was a clear signal to him she had no interest in him. Was she playing hard to get? He was contemplating how to react to her when Lauren arrived and started weeping and apologizing to him. It was as if something had changed in her. She didn’t come across as self-centered as she has been in recent times.

  “I think she loves you,” Lauren said to Jared. “She has been asking me about you.”

  “Well, you two behave now. Let’s play, shall we?”

  When the group gathered together, Irene took the lead in calling the shots for who gets to be in the teams. She dragged Jared to the other side of the net where Tom and Lauren followed right behind. After letting in a few other tourists milling about, they had formed teams of six on either side.

  For the next many hours, the two couples had much fun playing the games half seriously and taking every opportunity to high-five and hug and kiss. All this was happening to the frustration of Ann and Emma. Ignoring Leo, they had, for the most part, moved on to flirting with the three strangers that had joined in the game.

  It appeared Irene’s foil had worked well. The longer the game went on, the more she could see Tom and Lauren getting closer to one another. He didn’t seem to mind her clinginess as much, and Jared turned out to be a social animal holding the group together cracking jokes and teasing the other side.

  In between the frequent breaks to grab drinks, the group stayed on in the pool past the point of being tipsy. Some were visibly drunk, and Irene was starting to feel it too. She was looser and willing to let Jared hold and touch h
er under the water. It all seemed like a culmination of a long journey in life.

  In between the moments of letting go of control, there was a nagging worry that she knew nothing about Jared other than what she heard from Lauren - that he worked in private equity along with Tom and they were both apparently highly successful.

  What does private equity mean anyway? Irene didn’t have an answer. Was it appropriate that she lets a guy be as close to her as Jared now is? Sure all this was in part because of her own prompting. But his aggressiveness has had a definite role. It reminded her of the surgeons on the hospital floor.

  In that inebriated and excitable state, there was limited opportunity to think clearly about the options at hand. In the fleeting seconds where the thought of Ethan came to mind, Jared was there to remind her in person that there was much fun to be had if only she let herself go. So, she did. Drank more than she should and kissed more than she has had in many years. Leaving her convinced she needed this day to be the day she jumps off the wagon once and for all.

  Is there going to be a future between them? A question would spring spontaneously. Just as quickly it would dissipate away for there was no future in carefree fun. It was all about the present moment. It was all about celebration and being there for her best friend. It felt like a duty. That sacrifice had apparently worked for Tom and Lauren were now inseparable, more glued to each other than they had been in the hours Irene had observed them.

  The inevitable end of the game arrived, and the group dispersed to their respective places. Jared carried Irene and walked to her room. Without asking or any other considerations of politeness. She was too disoriented to stop him until the got to the door and found a big bouquet of flours by the entrance.

  “Wow, who is that from?” Jared asked as he let her down to open the door.

  “Sorry, see you soon!” the note on the card stated.

  Irene knew immediately it was from Ethan. As she opened the door, she had a decision to make. Would she go forward with the present or hold out for the future with Ethan? How did he find her address anyway?

  “A friend…” Irene said, trying to keep her balance. She had too much to drink and was already feeling dizzy.

  ∫---∫

  Chapter Eight

  Jared, rushed by the exploding intensity of desire to finish off what he started, took her in his hand. Irene resisted for a second before letting him kiss her, as she has done so for a few hours now.

  It didn’t take a moral standing to prevent this advance. The real question was about what she would do next. Would she let him take her? Part of her remembered the way Lauren spoke of the encounter with Jared in the coat closet. How he made her scream and bite and lose her sanity…

  Isn’t Irene, the determined obedient of distance from men, deserving of a similar moment of release? Hasn’t she waited long enough to be rewarded with one last hurrah of epic proportions? Would that be the fitting end to the silliness of saving herself for the big day? It was a philosophical debate that needed to be addressed in rapid succession for Jared was quickly advancing in his quest for claiming his trophy.

  “Can we slow down?”

  “What for? God, I’m so fucking horny right now, I could fuck anything!” Jared responded.

  Such brashness, in away a complete antithetical to every imaginable quality she had hoped to see in a man - thoughtful, caring, considerate, gentle. Jared was none of those things. Wasn’t that what opened the possibility in the first place. He was crass, almost animal like. And hence the expected ferocity with which he probably takes his concubines. The perfect foil for the charade of denying herself all the pleasures of womanhood.

  As the consummation of the moment progressed in rapid succession, more than any other consideration, the sexuality of the quest dominated her thought. If she could do away with the barrier that has held her back, so forcefully and totally demolished, she could probably get back with the business of living a regular life, Irene thought, gasping for air as he kissed her everywhere aggressively.

  The dress was done away with, and his hands were reaching places no other hands had reached before. The sheer force of wanting to do everything at the moment was so overpowering to contemplate on the implications of her precarious decision. It was the ultimate form of surrender to forces that are bigger than her imagination, in all the physical attributes of this young man of insatiable thirst.

  “I bet whoever the fuck sent you those flowers doesn’t have a clue what’s going on here!” Jared said casually.

  It was the sort of truth-telling that clarified a cloud of unquestioning Irene had been floating in for a while now. It was true that Ethan doesn’t know. It was true that if she let herself go for this one time, there was no telling what impact it will have on the future. It was true that so much will likely be different…

  Jared picked her up and threw her on the bed. Comfortable as the landing was, the sheer feeling of descending into the inevitable collision was disorienting. He loomed above her, clothes long thrown away, stroking his dick as if salivating what he was about to do. Instead of excitement, a form of fear Irene couldn’t describe consumed her. He took her hands and tied them to the frame of the bed with the silk scarf she had been wearing.

  “What will happen after this?” Irene asked trying to hold herself together.

  “Why the fuck would matter what happens next? We fuck and move on. That’s what…” His voice was slurred from all the drinking and a bubbling rage rising out of him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

  “I don’t think this is a good idea, Jared…” Irene tried to sit down at the far end of the bed, trying to keep a distance between her and the menacing presence Jared has now become.

  “You can’t fucking stop now. You brought me all the way here. Toying with me and begging for it the whole time.”

  “No, I don’t want to do anything.”

  “You don’t have a fucking say on this!”

  “No! No means no. I don’t want to do anything. Please leave.” She said, shaking and scared.

  Jared jumped on her as she was distracted looking for the phone in the room. He held her hands as if to confirm they were tied together. He is much too strong to escape. He put his hand on her mouth.

  Screaming was futile. She felt him pressing his body against her. A sort of alien contact she had associated with an idealized love experience before. The kind of touch she had long saved her femininity for was now being brought into her life with brute force.

  “Noooo!” She screamed again, to no avail.

  His other hand had started to go about the business of fondling her breasts and squeezing her painfully. There was nothing erotic about it.

  Irene tried kicking her feet around. Probably twice her size, she was no match for his strength. In all of her life, she had never once thought she would be in this kind of position. All talks of abuse and rape were theoretical theretofore. She might have even given to the argument that women at times bring it on themselves.

  Now it was not theoretical. She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. All she could focus on was how to get out of the situation in one piece. She realized it was a terrible mistake indeed to invite this kind of aggression into her life. Was she at fault?

  “Please stop! Please don’t do this to me!”

  The tears took over the percolating anger inside of her. Some kind of helplessness. Maybe this was the fate she had been careening toward. Maybe this was the accident of her life, not the collision that brought Ethan. By comparison, the manner in which Ethan treated her in the aftermath of the accident now seemed too angelic.

  “Shut the fuck up! I know you want it. Too fucking drunk to know the difference, that’s what!” He was now licking her nipples. The contact of his tongue to her skin repulsed her.

  No, she was clear about her thinking. This is wrong. She doesn’t want any of this. Maybe she is drunk. But she knew clearly this is wrong. This can’t go on…

  She felt
his finger rub her between her legs. Not in any sort of slow progression. No, this was squeezing and insertion of his fingers inside of her and cupping her ass as if manhandling an object. It sent shock waves throughout her body.

  He lowered his body down. She felt his dick touching her belly. He had her legs pinned to the bed. She had nowhere to go. She couldn’t escape the doom and gloom and self-loathing disgust rising inside of her. This was her fate…

  The weeping made it impossible for her to speak. She felt him moving further down as he took out his fingers from inside of her and stroked himself with her wetness. This was a terrible way to end her man detox.

  Irene was starting to feel him sliding on the edge when the moment clarified in her mind. He was putting his focus down there guiding himself inside of her when she bit his hand hard. She held the edge of his palm in her teeth and crunched down.

  As Jared let out a violent scream and shifted from above her, she kicked him in the groin. He was in so much pain that he curled beside her in a fetal position. The knot holding her hands came loose as she aggressively pulled to free herself.

  There was no pain registering in her mind. All she wanted to do was escape this nightmare as quickly as she could. She grabbed her dress as Jared screamed and cursed in the background. She needed to get away as fast as possible.

  When she made it through the door, there was a hotel Representative on the premise apparently responding to an unusual disturbance. Irene didn’t stop to talk to the person. She ran away into the darkness holding the dress in her hand.

  Irene didn’t know where she was going other than trying to be as far away from the monster as she could. She didn’t look back and settle down until she was deep in the darkness on the beach away from everything that she slowed down to put on her dress.

  “Oh, my God!” Irene kept saying to herself, shaking in the combination of fear and cold breeze sweeping over her body.